Thursday, March 7, 2013

Feeding Time at the ...

I support breastfeeding. I support it for a million and one reasons. I support it so hard, people who use formula tend to avoid me. I understand the use of formula - it is, on occasion, necessary. I hate the companies and the industry. I'm hating the sin and not the sinners, got me? Look into the Nestle boycott and you'll catch my drift pretty soon. I firmly believe that there are better options.

So, the boy and I had a shaky start. Neither of my kids had a fabulous latch, at first. I think my nipples are too big. They just can't seem to get their tiny, newborn mouths around them. With Al, I bled so profusely the first week that her diapers were pink. I needed nipple shields to draw out my nipples. It was pretty awful. Atticus was worse.

He didn't nurse in the hospital. He'd try, but his latch was terrible. I'd pop him off and try it again, but he always had the dimple in his cheek and he made the clicking noise when he suckled. It's hard when you know what is supposed to be going on, but you just can't make it happen.




All the advice in the world will only get you so far. I have huge aereolas (TMI is something you should be used to at this point). There is no way he could get nearly all that boob flesh into his mouth. But we practiced. We also consulted with the midwife, the pediatrician, the visiting nurse, and a lactation consultant. We went to the drop-in lactation clinic too. Got nothing new, no better advice, just, "keep doing what you're doing." Apparently, despite what my children do, I do know what's supposed to happen and how to work towards it.

I tried something I'd never heard of before: I cut my nails really short and let him suck my thumb before giving him my breast. With my nail against his tongue, I could feel with the pad his soft and hard palates. I had to physically push my thumb into his mouth so that my thumb would be where my nipple was supposed to be for: A) optimal nursing, and B) my nipples to stop hurting. It took a few days of practicing like this for his latch to improve, but improve it did. It's still not as great as a lactation consultant would like, but no one thinks that he's starving to death. And I'm not sore anymore!



So, first week: crappy latch, lots of pain, lots of crying.
Second week: We fixed nearly all of that, but I came down with mastitis.

I had mastitis with Al. It was terrible. It was so poorly treated that I wound up with an abscess that required surgical draining (160cc of pus), and it needed to be packed every day for over a month until it had filled in. And I needed to keep nursing on that side through all of it if I wanted to retain function of that breast. After it was completely healed I weaned Al off that breast. She had never really liked nursing on that side anyway.

Same song, second verse. One week post-partum I got mastitis in the same breast. We had just fixed the latch problem and now this. I knew better what I was dealing with, so I wasted no time in getting a prescription for antibiotics and making sure I was getting care.

Here in VT, Visiting Nurses come to check in on moms and babies. With Al, I found it embarrassing. I felt the need to clean, take a shower, brush my teeth, and put on clean clothes when the VN was coming. That shit is exhausting three days post-partum! This time? I answered the door to my cluttered home with my breast hanging out of my stained nursing nightgown. And I didn't have mastitis yet!

She, Susan, came for a follow-up a week later because she knew I had concerns about the latch. She brought the baby scale and more pamphlets about milk making supplements and lactation clinics and Le Leche meetings. She took one look at my flushed cheeks and asked if I'd started antibiotics yet. She went to the pharmacy and picked them up for me! God Bless the Visiting Nurses!

Antibiotics... I give Al organic milk because it doesn't have hormones or antibiotics in it, and here I was feeding my brand new son nothing but milk with antibiotics in it. My rationalization: the cows are given chronic low-doses of antibiotics to try to keep them from getting mastitis. Mine was a short-term dosage to cure one bout of it. The cows are contributing to the resistant strains of infection so not supporting antibiotic laced cows is a statement to the industry. I needed to get better and the drug I was given has a low incidence of breastmilk transmission. Yay for fever fueled rationalization!

After the mastitis cleared up, we weaned off that side. Remember, no matter how painful it is, you MUST continue nursing on the infected side - always first, always longest - if you want the infection to clear up. Massage the breast to help with letdown. Warm compresses to help with the pain and congestion. And nurse, nurse, nurse. Pumping will also help, but it's not as effective at draining all the ducts as nursing. Also, some nursing positions are better at draining certain ducts. Cross-cradle, the most popular hold, only drains between 30-50% of the ducts. Football hold drains up to 70% of the ducts. Good stuff to know when trying to drain them all.

Things went really well for a while. He's a restless nurser, which is really frustrating, but I've grown accustomed to it. Most of the time. It's annoying when he's crying or distracted, but that's what he does.

I can't pump. I've come to terms with that. Okay, that's a lie. Both of them. I can pump, I just get very little return. And I'm still working on being okay with that. I need to actually miss a feeding in order to get between one and two ounces of breastmilk. I also need to be looking at pictures of him while sitting in a quiet room. Please don't talk to me or look at me until I'm really going. And no heavy conversation that takes my mind off the baby or I'll dry right up. There was a really neat article in Midwifery Today about the Shy Hormone, that described this perfectly, but it's not freely accessible anymore (but you can buy or sample the book it's from here).

After the fall semester I had to give up nursing him in class. He's just too big and too noisy. He did really well for the first three months. Sleep, nurse, pee, sleep, nurse, poop, cry, coo, nurse, sleep... Having him in class was embarrassing (I was taking an undergrad class with kids I didn't know - I really stuck out with all the baby gear and the whimpering, sucking, pooping baby) but it worked. I am very grateful to my professor for being so supportive. He was obligated to accommodate me; he held Atticus and cooed at him while I packed my bag or dug for a paper. He cut me a little (just a little) slack on my in-class writings because the sudden silence would awaken Atticus and I'd have to quiet him before I could write. The professor I had been warned against as being tough and hard, was kind and supportive and cuddled my baby.

This spring, I needed to leave him home. As I can't pump, I needed to leave him home with a bottle of something other than breastmilk. He didn't like the cow's milk formula or the soy based stuff. Goat's milk saved the day. One four-ounce bottle twice a week shouldn't have freaked me out as badly as it did.

For weeks, my mother fed him a bottle while I was in class. Then one day I got home early. The bottle was made, I had pumped (nearly 2 oz!), so Mom handed me the bottle. I cried. I freaked out. It was antithetical to every fiber of my being. It's gotten a little easier each time...

He's getting a bottle a night now. An hour or two before bed Bryn makes up a 4-5 oz bottle and Atticus gulps it down like he's starving. But he usually leaves about a half ounce. Then he's content and sleeps for about four hours.

At this age (6 months) Alex has 6 teeth and was happily downing solids, but still a contented nurser. She was also consistently in the 50th percentile range for height and 25th for weight.

Atticus has no teeth, nurses fitfully, and is 75th percentile height, 10th for weight. And that's not consistent. He was 50th and 25th last time... I feel like I'm starving him. I know all about growth-spurts, my breasts, cluster-feeding, yada-yada-yada... My brain knows. My guts are in knots. So he gets a daily bottle to top him off. Is it hurting my supply? Probably. Will I give it up? Only if he wants to. So, no.

He's also started solids, which gives him solid poops (topic for another post). He loves sweet potatoes! So did Alex (and I, apparently). I turned Alex orange, she loved them so! And Mom did it to me too... I'll try not to do that to Atticus. He loves pears too. But not strawberries or bananas. Prune juice is okay, but not prunes. Not too keen on blueberry yogurt; but he loves Mum-mum's!

I wish nursing were easier for more women, including me. I love doing it when my breasts are full and he's content to nurse until he's full. I worry that he's working towards weaning. It will break my heart when it happens.


1 comment:

  1. I support breastfeeding, too. I was denied the teat and look how I turned out!

    ReplyDelete