Other Births I've Known...

So I wasn't actually there for most of them, but I've heard some great birth stories in my time. I'll start with the one I'm most familiar with, my own.

Mom had a great pregnancy. She was chopping firewood the week before she went into labor. She contracted poison ivy in the dead of winter making rubbings of gravestones in Pennsylvania just a few months before I was born. She had planned me. She made appointments with Dad to conceive me. Apparently, I was transverse through most of the pregnancy. I was manually manipulated to be head down and about halfway home I'd flip around to where I was comfy again.
When Mom was admitted to Mary Hitchcock, the nurse told her that she'd never deliver me vaginally. 46 hours later, the head of obstetrics and the head of anesthesiology attended my "emergency" c-section. Since my grandmother couldn't get there for her, my mother had a picture of her young mother holding her in a plastic bag under her pillow through the surgery.
The cord was wrapped around my neck 3 times. Even if Mom's pelvis had spread enough, I would have choked myself. I spent about a week in the NICU.
As a nurse, my mom was the focus of attention in the maternity ward. The baby nurses (what she calls newbies) were using her like a guinea pig. The tried every breast pump they could find on her. After a while, Mom asked what they were doing with all the milk they'd pumped. One of the baby nurses told her, very sheepishly, that they were giving it to the preemies. They hadn't told her or the other mothers for fear that someone would object. It was just that they tolerated it so much better and they thrived on it. Mom offered to nurse them, but it was felt that that was a bit too much. Mom didn't object to pumping after that.

My mom's best friend had three kids and all I remember about the stories is that they were all gushers. She ruined rugs when her water broke. Not helpful in the birthing story area, but darned amusing.

My grandmother had my mother in Philadelphia, I think. She was in the hospital overnight. She was heavily medicated, but not before learning about baseball. Apparently, Gram was alone in the maternity ward and a young attending physician was tasked with sitting with her. The Phillies were playing and they listened to the game on his little radio and he taught her about baseball. She never became a fan of "good" teams; but she took me to my first professional ball game. We watched a lot of baseball together. If her team made it to the World Series, she would hide in the closet and peek her head out for updates periodically.
I'm not sure why, but she never taught my mother about baseball. She taught me.

Her mother, my great-grandmother had no idea she was having a baby. She was in her forties and had been married since she was a young woman. She assumed she was going through "the change". She was a heavy-set woman and assumed a few things about her diet and her indigestion, but eventually called over her sister. Her sister called over the next door neighbor lady, a midwife. The consensus was that she was in enough pain that they should call the doctor. Apparently, he was in the house less than five minutes before exclaiming, "There are three women in this house and not one of you recognizes a woman in labor!?!"
My grandmother was born that night and she was so small that she fit in her father's overcoat pocket. She was yellow. A young cousin was allowed to name her, and she did, after her French china doll: Beatrice.
Since they had not prepared for her and they didn't expect her to survive, she was put in a well padded drawer on the open oven door to keep her warm and the doctor said he'd be back in the morning to pronounce her.
He walked in the door the next morning and was greeted with a screaming infant. She'd made it (and she never shut-up again. And we wouldn't have wanted it any other way.). He told my great-grandmother that she'd better feed her or she really wouldn't survive.

My best friend and birth coach for Alex had two children before I had Alex. The first, she was in labor for 4 hours - start to finish. The second only took 2. She said something about peeled grapes that I don't think I will ever fully understand. For someone who experienced such short and complication free deliveries, she was an amazing birth coach for me.

Alex's birth was long, protracted, and not something I would like to repeat. It could have been much worse, granted, but it could have been better.
Contractions started on Thursday evening. They were finally about 3 minutes apart by 3pm on Saturday. I went into the hospital and was told that I was fully effaced, but only 2cm dilated. At 6pm, my doctor ordered Pitocin. At midnight, he told a nurse to restart my Pitocin and she told him that she would - right after I got a good night's sleep. I was only at 4cm. He came to see me in the morning while I was having breakfast. He complained that I was still not back on the Pitocin and only at 5cm. The nurse (different one) told him that she would restart it after I'd finished breakfast. Some time in the pain haze that was Sunday, the doctor ruptured my membranes. There was meconium in the fluid. At about noon, I was given Stadol to alleviate the pain of the contractions. By 6pm, I was taken off of both medications. It was just me and my contractions.
I was very happy pushing in a squatting position, but eventually I was manhandled onto my back. A nurse had my left leg and she directed Alex's father to take my right. She told him to pull - he couldn't hurt me. I felt a coldness on my perineum and my baby was born at 9pm. She didn't cry.
I asked the doctor what he was still doing between my legs, which were now in stirrups. He was closing the episiotomy I had expressly asked him not to give me.
I was foggy and hazy for a while, but when she was finally handed to me at 10pm I was in good spirits. I had  delivered Alex naked. When the pediatrician was on his way out I asked him if, since he had seen me naked, could I call him Elliot, he replied that I could, just for that night and left. My little girl was perfect in every way.

I have spoken to a few midwives about Alex's delivery and the consensus seems to be that the episiotomy was probably needed, but someone should have said something to me. The Pitocin probably could have been avoided, and if the Pitocin hadn't been administered there likely wouldn't have been a need for the Stadol. We all agreed that the nurses were wonderful for letting me rest and eat.

I have discussed Alex's birth with my midwife and we are in agreement that we will try for a less medicated birth. We have also agreed that if anything medical needs to happen, I will get talked to before it happens. I'm not just going to be a vessel; I will be part of the delivery team this time. And I will nurse within the first hour. Everything is going to be perfect. I've seen it!

Summertime is Here!

Summertime - Billie Holiday from Amos Mulder on Vimeo.


The heatwave has hit the Northeast. Yesterday was in the mid-90's and today was even hotter. I don't think it hit 100, but it was more humid today. We've managed to stay out of the heat for the most part, but it's been tricky.

Yesterday, I had to get the oil changed in my vehicle. My mechanic apologized that he couldn't get us in and out and let me borrow a shop car. A 2002 Audi A6. I was in love. Alex adored it. The A/C was fantastic! Quick and cold. And the car cooled quickly with the sunroof open. After we picked up the Audi we had to take Bryn to his doctor appointment. It was an intake - they had never met before, so it was a nice long appointment and Alex and I got to sit in the A/C and read for over an hour in the dead heat of the afternoon. We had linner (lunch/dinner) at a favorite cafe - including ice cream for dessert. We sat in the cool, dark cafe and finished our desserts because I didn't want Alex getting ice cream on the leather seats. Who am I kidding? I just wanted to eat mine in peace.

It cooled off a bit in the evening and we went down to the garden after the sun went below the trees. We weeded and watered until it got dark enough to not tell the difference between weed and seedling. There was heat lightening leaping from cloud to cloud and I was hopeful for a thunderstorm, but it didn't come. Alex was filthy, as usual, after a few hours in the garden. Her overalls were crunchy.

Bending over isn't comfortable, so I sit when I weed. I weed as much as I can reach and then scoot down a bit. Washing Alex in the tub is also problematic. Yes, I know she's seven. She has real issues with her hair. She comes back from her father's with an itchy head because they let her wash her own hair and she hates rinsing. She can wash herself bodily, but let's face it: It's a lot faster when I do it - when I can reach her. She scoots to the far side of the tub when I go to wash her. I don't think it's deliberate, but I did grab her by the ankle and drag her back to where I could get at her last night. Bending into the tub just drives the baby into my chest and makes it hard to breathe and leaning forward puts strain on my lower back.

She and I went back to the garden this morning to water again before the heat of the day. She managed to get filthy again. And I took her straight to the market. Walking through those doors was heaven. We spent an hour wandering up and down the aisles in the least efficient order. If you think that spending an hour in the supermarket is easy, keep in mind that the market I took her to is a Mac's Market. In Vermont, Mac's is a convenience store. The one in Essex Junction is epic, but it's still pretty small. Yes, there is a butcher and a deli and an organic section, but options are usually between one brand name and ShureFine brand, and the refrigerated aisle is dairy on one side and beer on the other with a bit of soda on the end.

Once we finished off there I took her to the other end of the plaza to the Rite-Aid. Alex had been a sweetie the last time we were there and I denied her a toy she wanted because she had dawdled and waited to bring it to the register until after I had checked out. She just put it back and we got on with our day. Since she was so awesome I decided that she deserved the toy and a couple of water guns to play with in the heat. The fans were all on and pointed at the door going in - it was heaven after the walk down the sidewalk.

Then we went to the bakery in the middle of the plaza. There's a lunch counter at the back! And I picked up a loaf of day old monkey bread for $2. We came home, had a little lunch, and went to the lake.

Maternity bathing suits are terrible. Or at least all the ones I've found are terrible. I finally found one that fit and bought it for the trip I took to Boston in April. The picture above is from a dressing room in March - imagine how it fits now. I never wore it in Boston. My breasts are too big now. They barely fit inside the cups and I'm not sure who decided that bathing suits for big breasted girls need to be halter tops - but they need to stop and be taught a lesson in gravity. Big boobs are heavy boobs and they need to be held up - preferably NOT by my neck. Albatrosses, the both of them. Alex actually giggled and followed the lines in my skin where my bra leaves indentations last night. That was fun. I'm contemplating just getting a bikini. I haven't worn one in over a decade; it might be fun.

Water. I'm not going to talk about the pain my feet are still in from walking across the sand. I'm not going to talk about the grossness of the lake water. I will mention buoyancy. Once I was finally in the water I felt like a new woman. It was heaven. I could walk forever. My hips didn't hurt. My back didn't hurt. My pelvis didn't hurt. I didn't even know that my pelvis had been hurting! It all felt so good. The belly just lifted up in the water and I was nearly weightless. It was decidedly weird when a wake came by and I was only partially submerged. We left over 5 hours ago and I want to go back. 


My feet hurt. My butt hurts. I just ache everywhere. I think I got a sunburn, which doesn't help. Yes, I put on sunblock - but it was old and I probably spent too long in the water. I'll use Alex's from now on. 


Other stuff, other than the heat: I passed my glucose test! I was not as up on my iron as I had been ten days earlier. I think that my iron really fluctuates depending on what I've eaten in the past few days. I tend to get cravings for red meat and spinach on a regular basis, so I haven't taken supplements lately, but I do have them if I have another dizzy spell.

This probably deserves it's own post, but it happened today and it happened in the heatwave, so it's here.
There was a blanket of three Muslim women and their babies in the shade that we walked past on our way back to the car. Their older children were in the water nearby. There are a lot of Muslims in the area: students and refugees alike. I have no idea how they survive all covered up like that. Long sleeves, long skirts or loose slacks, and the head coverings. I wear a sunhat, but that's for shade! Anyway, there were three babies with the women and Alex just squealed! They were adorable babies and I just melted. One woman had hers at her breast, nursing, this tiny little babe. She is a month old. Full head of hair and a concentrated nurser! After we left, Bryn realized he'd been staring. He hoped he hadn't made the mother uncomfortable. The mother was too busy smiling and talking about her baby and asking about mine. We just kept congratulating each other! Alex really wanted to see the baby's face, but she kept a good distance. She did bounce a lot though.

I think there is something very interesting about a culture where the women keep so modest that their arms and legs are covered, even in this heat; but nursing the baby out in the open, with her breast out, no cover on the baby, she was radiant.

Diapers 101

I went to the Cloth Diapers 101 on Saturday. Boy, are diapers complicated! Jessie is really sweet and really knows her diapers.

A few of the things I learned Saturday:

1. I can't do pocket diapers - my hand gets stuck trying to re-tuck them.


2. Pre-folds are probably the way to go until the baby starts crawling.

3. Number 2 means that I'm going to need some more diaper covers.

4. All-in-ones, which I thought I'd never want, are really cute and probably a good idea if I leave the baby with people uncomfortable with cloth diapers.


5. Given that I can't customize cycles on the machines at the laudromat (just rinse, just spin, etc.), I may be better off using a diaper service. Lots of wasted water and energy - and $3.75 for one load of diapers to get washed appropriately seems excessive. It is cheaper than the diaper service, if you don't think about the cost of the detergent and the time that goes into it (3 cycles x 38 minutes = nearly 2 hours of washing).

6. I get $10 off my first order through Jessie if I use the code she gave me at the class. That makes the class free, essentially. Or I could just get a really cute cover for cheap!

7. I can add stuff from Diaper Days to my Amazon Baby! Wishlist.

I really liked the class and Jessie. It was nice getting out and thinking about baby stuff by myself. I love doing the baby thing with Bryn; but I'm not sure I would have played dress-up with the doll quite so long if he'd been there.

Pregnancy Symptoms

I've been thinking about this for a while and have decided against calling it: So you think you want to be pregnant? Because those of you who want kids will have kids. Pregnancy is only nine months (or ten, depending on how you count). Those of you who have done this may laugh and remember this stuff - or maybe it wasn't your issue so you're just grateful it didn't happen to you.

Yesterday brought up some interesting symptoms that I hadn't thought about since I was round with Alex.

While laying on the gurney during the study I was asked to twist in certain ways so as to better accommodate the testing and to not put the baby (or me) in harm's way. I was on my left side a lot, but frequently they needed my right arm or leg or they needed my head to be straight up and down. That put a lot of strain on the right side of my abdomen. One would think that it would pull the muscles on the left, but those aren't the ones being twisted. Subsequently, my right side has been bothering me since yesterday morning. Last night I tried to roll over. Being pregnant, I have to be semi-awake to do that anyway, but I did it without being awake enough and pulled that muscle all over again. That woke me right up! And of course, now that I'm awake, I have to pee. Sitting up hurt that muscle all over again...

I mentioned that I felt my pelvis separate when I sat up on the gurney. I'm not sure how to describe that to someone who hasn't experienced it. It's like an ache that's burning cold right where the bones come together in the front. It passes. It will happen again with more frequency as I get closer to delivering. I almost find it comforting. It's my body preparing for the delivery. Then again, it hurts like heck and nothing makes it feel better except time.

While I was forced to lie still in the MRI tube I kept tasting banana. It was one bit of uncomfortableness (I'm earning my Master's in English - it's a word now) that I tried to avoid dwelling on. Lying down flat, without a pillow, makes the last thing I ate remarkably close to my mouth. Bryn saw a side-view diagram of a pregnant woman next to a woman who is not pregnant. Yes, my stomach is squashed up into my rib cage and makes my esophagus feel like it's backed up. Blech. Makes eating as much as I want to eat - which would be All the food - really hard.



I was washing dishes today. I'm okay if there aren't too many. I found a pizza box under them today. You still can't get at my toaster oven, but the kid's bath toys are clean. Anyway, my hips and shoulders started hurting. I tend to favor my right leg when I stand and then that hips starts to ache. When I switched legs the right hip actually hurt worse... Between my shoulders and my hips I started complaining out loud and Bryn brought me my industrial strength belly band. It is nearly 4" wide of heavy-duty elastic and has a Velcro closure, then there are supplemental elastics with Velcro to snug it up harder. I like corsets so I actually find this band to be pretty comfortable. It also insists that I stand up straight. Standing up straight, I can't reach the bottom of the sink for the belly. I also forgot to take off the band before sitting down. I thought I was going to die. If I had sat on a stool, instead of in a chair, and taken off the band it would have flown across the room and hurt someone.

Bryn put this amazing balsamic vinegar on our strawberries tonight. Alex ate nearly half the quart by herself. I had a small bowl and needed the whipped cream to cut the vinegar. It's strange what I can no longer tolerate.

Interestingly enough, I can still sit criss-cross applesauce (Indian-style isn't PC) and it doesn't bother my hips or my pubic bone. Getting out of that position, on the other hand, hurts both.

In the supermarket, Bryn talked on the phone with the father of the family we are picnicking with tomorrow. And he stood still to do it. I sat on the edge of the cheese case. I walked in circles around the cheese case. I gave up and went to find paper towels and instant decaf iced tea. My hips, legs and lower back cannot tolerate just standing anymore. Even leaning against the cart wasn't comfortable. I had to be moving. Moving with purpose is less depressing than circling the brie.

My face has broken out into rosacea - thanks Mom. It tends to be latent until a hormone shift. Since it didn't happen with Alex, I figured I was safe. Nope. My face is red, broken out, dry and flaky, and itches. Nothing helps very much. When I put on make-up to try to disguise it (which will only make it worse the next day), the cream or powder will find the edges of the flaky skin that didn't come off scrubbing and make me look even more obvious.

Something else that has become more obvious is my chin. I've had whiskers on my chin for years now. It started when I gained a lot of weight in the late 90's with one or two hairs. I'm now beyond counting them and am contemplating the Father's Day specials on electric shavers... Apparently, this is one of the symptoms of my PCOS. The same PCOS that was supposed to keep me from being fertile. Interestingly, one of the triggers for PCOS is being overweight, but one of the symptoms is difficulty losing weight. There are books about how to lose weight if you have PCOS because it's supposed to be different than other types of fat. It would explain why when my family went on the Atkins Diet everyone else lost weight and I gained 12 pounds...

Fortunately, I have never had the Mask of Pregnancy, my vision hasn't changed substantially, and my feet haven't grown. My nose may have. I haven't had swollen extremities for which I am very grateful - I had a friend whose wedding ring needed to be cut off of her. I don't get so much as cankles. No varicose veins - knock wood. Yes, I get a little backed up. Yes, I burp and fart a lot. My digestion, like that of all pregnant women, has slowed down to ensure as much nutritional absorption as possible. That delay causes gas.

My emotions are on a pendulum... I feel for Bryn. I was a pain in the ass this afternoon. I was having some me-time. That means that I was at a class on cloth diapering while I sent Bryn to keep an eye on Alex while she was at the hospital for the Sibling Class. I got out of my class and decided to stop at the bagel place for a sandwich. I was going to go home, put my feet up, and eat my tasty sandwich. But what I did in reality was text Bryn from the sandwich line if he wanted me to pick them up and if they were hungry. Yes, he wanted me to pick them up. No, he wasn't hungry but Alex was. And if I pick them up instead of making them take the bus we could head straight to the supermarket. There went my plans. I also now felt rushed, like I had to beat the bus to them in order to be a good mom/wife. The way the line crept, that wasn't going to happen. But I could refrain from stopping at home and picking up the coupons and shopping bags - that would save time... Bryn and I were texting back and forth and I thought everything was fine. While I was waiting for Alex's bagel, I unwrapped my sandwich in the hopes of having a bite. Pregnant ladies are always hungry - it gets worse if the food is Right There and they can't get at it. I'm juggling the now unwrapped sandwich, the drinks for all three of us, and the newly acquired bagel, while trying to find my car keys when Bryn calls. WTF!?!?! And of course, since he's calling me it has to be an emergency! So I drop everything in the car - including the insides of half my sandwich on the running board so I can find my now ringing phone. Missed call. GAH! I'm now blaming Bryn for trying to starve me. Someone had better be bleeding. Actually, they are at the hospital; it had better be more important than bleeding. Needless to say, it was much less important than bleeding and I was annoyed and frustrated when I got off the phone. My sandwich, like all good sandwiches, deserved to be eaten with full attention, two hands, and easy access to a napkin. I was praying for red lights so I could reassemble it into something I could eat while driving. I was not a happy camper when I got to the hospital.
My sainted Bryn finally got me to explain what was wrong once we got to the supermarket. I clung to him and explained that I suck at taking care of myself and I need him to do it for me. I explained about my plans and how I screwed up and texted him. He hugged me back and kissed me on the top of the head and agreed that I suck at taking care of my own needs first. He promised he would try to help me out in the future, if I talk to him. He can't help if he doesn't know I need helping. A little while later he got a call from the friend and I paced like a petulant child, but that was a different matter all together.

30 Week Ultrasound

I went in for a second ultrasound today. It wasn't in my plans to have more than one when we became pregnant. Bryn's mom is a speech-language pathologist and according to her research there may be concern that those ultrasound waves could damage developing eardrums and ear bones. I have to repeat myself frequently around Alex... it's either too many ultrasounds (my OB was nuts for them) or she's too busy being her. I'm hoping it's the latter.

We had the first ultrasound and I've shared the pictures here; however, there was concern that I had placenta previa. My placenta was very close to my cervix earlier on and they wanted to make sure that it had moved with my growing uterus.

It did!

I didn't realize how scared I was until Tracy, the tech, told me that my placenta was 2 cm from my cervix and I nearly started crying. Bryn had to be at work, so I had Boo with me. I nearly grabbed her and squeezed her - I refrained (that wand pressing down is decent resistance. I think Tracy works out), but Alex could tell I had been scared. She asked what was wrong and I explained what I had been scared of and Alex just curled up in her chair looking scared. Tracy and I soothed her and explained that we were there to make sure that everything was okay. And we showed her on the screen where the placenta is and where my cervix is and Tracy measured it for her - and we were all relieved.

Bryn was upset he couldn't be there with me, and I told Tracy as much. She got out a different wand and looked for the baby's face. We gave Bryn the 3-D pictures of his son's face. He gushed all over them. He'll scan them and post them to his Facebook wall soon and then I'll steal them and post them to the blog.

Scary day turned into a very good day.

Update:

How the Study Actually Went...

I started my day by needing to pee every few hours all night. Since I wasn't allowed to drink, I felt dehydrated and tired. It was very hard to not have something to drink; brushing my teeth helped with the gross mouth feeling for about an hour.

So, first thing that had to happen when I arrived was to strip down and put on the Johnny coat. I had to be weighed. Then the nurse subtracted the weight of the Johnny coat: .2kg. I am so glad I peed before I got on the scale. That reminds me that I need to convert the kg to lb so I know how much I weigh today... Not sure why I care so much. I think I'm still thinking about my job last summer. I fell in love with my weight-loss progress and the kettlebell. The idea of working with a kettlebell right now just hurts...

Okay, so I was weighed and measured and my blood pressure was taken. Then the nice nurse, Rachel, started my IV. I hate needles in my veins in ways you can't quite understand (really long, amusing story for another time). I apologized to Rachel and stared at the wall and out the window and talked to anyone walking in instead of engaging with her. She understood. And then took two vials of blood. The adhesive and the lidocaine made my arm stiff and itchy. 

I was moved to a stretcher and wheeled in to have sonograms done. First, the doctor checked my heart, then he attached three sticky sensors and checked my heart from a different angle. Then he looked at the veins in my right arm (as my left was full of IV). Then he looked at the veins in the back of my right knee.

More blood was taken and then I was given some dye. The IV flush smells like cheap vodka; the dye smells like high school art class - and I was the only one who could smell it. The human body is so fascinating. 

My blood pressure got taken while I was lying down, then I was helped up to sitting and it was taken again. I had been lying on my side long enough that my pelvis hurt while I was sitting up. I actually felt the front separating when I sat up. 

After I was sitting up and they had my baseline sitting pressure I was asked to breathe out for 20 seconds into a gauge and make sure the pressure remained between 50 and 55 - what the numbers mean, I have no idea. I was asked to do this, then remain quiet until the pressure was back to normal, three times. The baby had been wiggling and dancing through most of the tests and blood draws; he didn't seem to like the exhaling exercise. I was finally wheeled back to my room and fed.

I scarfed down the cereal and the mini muffins. I drank a pint of ice water and 4 oz of cranberry juice. I ate a huge banana. People were trying to talk to me and get me to sign stuff... I apologized and talked with my mouth full and got milk on some paperwork. Every woman in the room completely understood. I had been fasting for ten and a half hours. I only had half an hour before I was made to lie down and rest before my MRI. 

I watched the end of Overboard lying on my side and kind of dozing off. Then I got wheeled all the way down to the Radiation department. I'm a bit of a control freak. I drive everywhere. Lying on my side and trying to relax while being wheeled down labyrinthine hallways and seven stories was a little difficult. 

The guys down at the Radiation Department were really sweet. I got foam earplugs and then they put headphones on me and asked what kind of music I liked. I asked for classical, figuring it would be soothing and help me be calm. If I ever have to do something like this again, I'm going to ask for stuff I know all the words to - at least I'd have lyrics to distract me. 

So I got put on the gurney, and since RD is usually pretty cool, they put a blanket on me. Then a cage-like thing got put on my head - which with the headphones on meant I couldn't move my head. And then I got slid into the tube. I had been handed a call button and I clutched it to my chest under the blanket. 

There were several scans. I was brought down at about 11:35 and was wheeled out at 12:30. For the last few scans I was starting to panic. The back of my head hurt where it was on the gurney, but I didn't want to move it (and barely could because of the cage) and screw up the imaging. I was getting really hot with the blanket on me; it felt like it was creeping up and bunching at my neck, just below the  cage. My hips hurt. Being as pregnant as I am, I'm not supposed to lie on my back, but my head had to be positioned as though I were. The strain on my abdomen was getting to me. I would obsess about one uncomfortable thing until I was toying with the call button and then I would think of something else that was uncomfortable. I managed to fix the blanket situation and I wriggled my hips a bit. I waited for a pause in the banging noises to move my head a bit, but it didn't help. Then I thought, "At least I don't have to pee," and instantly had to pee. I had the call button in my hand and was figuring out where to press on it when I was told they were coming to get me. I'm not claustrophobic, but I was glad I could close my eyes and escape. 

I got wheeled back upstairs and was thanked for my participation and released into the wild. 

I agreed to have my placenta sent from Porter to Fletcher Allen for the study. I'm not having any luck finding someone to encapsulate it for me, so it may as well go to the study. I have also agreed to put my MRI into a database for other researchers. 

I've been pretty beat all day. Between the fasting, dehydration, and the blood draws I think I'm a bit wiped out.  Bryn tried to treat me with Misery Love Co. for dinner, but I was too tired to eat. I just didn't feel right. I wasn't unwell; I just wasn't well. I ate about five bites and had to give up. Even the fries didn't cheer me.

I promised the dirty details of the testing, and I have delivered. I have eaten ice cream and drunk lemonade. Maybe some sleep will finally do me some good. 

The Study

I mentioned the pre-eclampsia study that I'm involved with before. To recap: since my mother was hypertensive by the time she was my age, I am an eligible candidate for the study. They gave me as many ovulation detectors and pregnancy tests as I could possibly use. Once I was pregnant, I recorded everything I ate for three days (including weights and volumes, if I salted it or it had ice in it), peed in a jug for 24 hours and went to the hospital for a few hours of tests. They drew a lot of blood, injected a lot of saline and some dye, did several ultrasounds on veins and kidneys, and made me exercise to exhaustion.

They sent me food to eat for the second trimester, but I came down with a terrible cold and felt like hell and begged off. Since the tests are time sensitive, I couldn't make it up once I felt better.

I started eating their food Monday night for my third trimester tests. I recorded everything I ate all day Monday, up until my Monday dinner. I ate their prepackaged food and was still starving. So I ate more food and wrote it on my list. They are studying preeclampsia, which is tied to diabetes and hypertension, so the sodium, sugar, and potassium levels are very strictly proportioned.

Yesterday I was gone in the middle of the day and didn't get home until nearly 9. I was starving, because I hadn't brought any of my food with me, except snacks that could handle not being refrigerated. I had a lot of food waiting for me when I got home... I ate the broccoli and tried to eat the macaroni and cheese, but there was entirely too much spinach in it. All the meals are "healthful" and terribly bland. Except the breakfast cereals and the mac and cheese. The mac and cheese would be awesome if it didn't have so much wilted, limp, gross spinach baked into it. I ate a huge salad and the broccoli, you'd think they could forgo the spinach. Or at least cut back by half. It literally comprises half the content. And I hate spinach.

So the food is bland and there is nothing I can do about it. I have started collecting urine again. I cannot swallow the prenatal vitamins they gave me. I cheated a bit on the first day of food... I hope they still want me and are willing to compensate me for my time.

My goal, when I started was to save all the compensation money and pay for diaper service. But that was last September. Money issues have changed and I may need to pay the electric bill with my compensation. I didn't get any money for the second trimester, since I was sick. I bought a bra and a belly band with the money I received for the first trimester. It's expensive being well-endowed. Damned comfy bra, though.

Tomorrow, I will have been fasting since midnight. I will fast through getting showered, dressed, and on the bus to the hospital for 8:30am. They will collect more urine and blood and run a few more tests and then they will feed me. It will not be enough. I ate my breakfast and my morning snack in one sitting this morning. Two hours ago. I'm seriously thinking about lunch. It's appropriate, time-wise, but it's only been two hours since breakfast. (Have I mentioned that I love summer vacation and sleeping in?)

Bryn has promised me lunch at Misery Loves Co. Big Red - where ever it is. And I have requested that if the weather permits, we head to the lake for a swim. Bryn plans on going hiking with Boo in the morning while I'm at the hospital and they'll pick me up on the quest for the MLC truck.

This time, I'll let you know how the testing went. Seriously.

Baby Stuff

The last post was really light on baby stuff. I'm going to try to make it right with this post.

Today was my glucose test. With any luck, good results will be returned to us on Monday. I failed the one hour with Alex - but passed the three hour; so I'm a little nervous. I ate a good breakfast of tea, eggs, and toast - no jam, juice, honey, or sugar, so I actually felt nearly human when I arrived at the office. The blood draw went scary. The first nurse checked both my arms and called in the other nurse. The second nurse got one good vial and then I just stopped flowing halfway through the second vial. Hopefully, they have enough for the tests they want to run. 

On the 25th I got my hemoglobin tested and it was 12.4 - my goal was 11, so my iron levels seem to be good. I am producing about two pounds of blood this trimester, so I need all the iron I can get. It also ups my clotting factor...

Twenty-nine weeks today. 

My appointments will be every two weeks from now on - and I've scheduled all of them! I'm getting scared. 

The baby is moving like crazy. I get to watch him move. He can stomp on my bladder and elbow my lungs at the same time. He has woken me from a sound sleep. Bryn giggles every time the baby wiggles under his hand. Alex has only felt it once. There is something about her hand that just calms the baby right down. 

I mentioned a box from a friend a while ago - more clothes and diapers have arrived. My sister-in-law sent over a few boxes - and there are a lot of woolly knitted things. Then a friend sent over more clothes and diapers. Seriously, I am ecstatic! I don't think I'm going to need any more newborn diapers. I have more clothes than the little booger could wear before he outgrows them. Now all I have to do is wash them, organize them, and figure out where the heck to put them. The apartment is looking kind of small but a lot of that is camping stuff, baby stuff in bins, and bags full of Alex's stuffed toys. Once the lice scare is over, the toys will go back to her room. The baby stuff needs to find a home. The camping stuff needs to find a home. The rest of the place needs to be cleaned up. 

I've wanted comfort foods lately. Pierogis. Mac and cheese. Graham crackers. Chocolate. Ice cream. Warm and creamy is the ideal, but ice cream is the exception. And I want a lot of ice cream. All the time. 

I've registered Alex for a Big Sibling class. They will tour the maternity ward at Fletcher Allen, learn to diaper and swaddle, and they are going to make birth day cards for the new baby in their family. 

Bryn and I still need to register for birthing class. Insurance will pay for the 10 hour long class, it will not pay for the 5 hour refresher... The one weekend long class is the weekend before I'm due. The other option is five Wednesdays in a row (or Tuesdays or Thursdays, etc...). This is not going to work out well. Bryn and I need to go to Canada for a week in July. No matter which course we register for, we will miss one class because we'll be out of the country. We're also going to need a babysitter for Alex. I'm starting to wonder if I really need to do this... I know I do. I just hate that nothing has been easy lately. 

Nothing ever is though, is it?

Long Week After the Long Weekend

The long weekend made this past week a lot longer...
My mom asked if I could help her out this past week. She'd had a rough couple of weeks/months, so I offered to go help her settle back into her old house and begged off of my first week of my internship.
The weather was appalling. I had the ex-husband drop off the kiddo at my mom's house and Bryn drove her home with him after dropping me off on Tuesday.
Mom and I have always been pretty close. We get along well. We have the same taste in most things. We're both cuddlers and love Brit Night on PBS and ice cream. I have lived with her as an adult and we're okay with that. From what I understand, this is rare. I am grateful that we get on together so well.
Bryn and the kid got home safe, if slowly. Torrential downpours, gusting winds, hail, and a tornado were reported that afternoon all over Vermont. The ex's car was getting hit with enough hail that the kid asked if they could just go back. Once she got to my mom's house she insisted that my mother call my cell phone to make sure we were okay. She was scared to get back into the car with Bryn for the next leg of the trip. Poor booger. It's about 4 hours in one direction between my ex-husband's place and my place. My folks would just do the trip in one shot and it was 5 hours. At least my ex and I have agreed to share the trip. At the meeting place she gets to get out and run around.
We sent Bryn and the kid on their way and Mom and I had a pizza while watching The Vicar of Dibly on VHS. Bryn calls it the Dicar of Vibly...
The next day I got a call from the school nurse. Alex went to her because her head was really itchy. Patient Zero had head lice nits. And I am two hours away. Without a car.
Can we please have a round of applause for my husband - Slayer of Nits, Washer of ALL Things, Scrubber of Child, and all around super Papa?
We were broke. Last month was really bad money-wise. Stuff for killing head lice is expensive; let's not discuss the cost of the special little comb. Between the money that had to be shelled out and the amount of labor that had to go into his Wednesday afternoon, he was a little freaked out. Then he actually received the kid off the bus.
No, she didn't have to go straight home immediately. He spent his afternoon researching head lice and how to kill them. Then he went to the natural food store and bought neem oil and tea tree oil to mix with olive oil to treat her head. The little comb - $8. The letter the nurse sent home with Al requested that the empty box from the over the counter chemical stuff be attached and returned with the child upon her return to school. He'd already paid an exorbitant sum on the all natural stuff and "I will not put that chemical crap on my kid!" - he was so frustrated; I could hear the tears in his throat. ("my kid" - have I mentioned how lucky I am to have him, lately?) I called the nurse on his behalf. She was very sweet. Apparently, the form is verbatim from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) website. It's just a recommendation; follow your conscience - but document it. She completely understood not wanting to cover the kid in chemical pesticides - both of her daughters have had head lice.
Bryn had Al help him clean her room. I'd been on her about it for weeks, but I'm a bad mom and have instilled no fear in her. Between stripping her bed, bagging her soft toys, and vacuuming the two of them were busy enough. Then they actually needed to treat her head.
While she sat with the oil on her head, she read and he replaced the tire on her bicycle. Another expense he was upset about... She had a bicycling field trip the next day (that Bryn was chaperoning), and her front tire wouldn't hold air. The store was out of the basic tires in the right size, so he had to get a self-patching one. Those buggers are expensive.
Thank goodness we had lots of quarters for laundry. Bryn and Alex had a lot of fun on the field trip the next day. It was a rough 24 hours, but they made it.

I had been on the phone with the financial aid office when the nurse called. I received a letter last week saying that I was no longer eligible for financial aid because I had failed a course, which meant that I had not successfully completed 75% of my attempted courses nor maintained a 3.00 GPA. That was news to me. I checked my grades online and had a cumulative GPA of 3.66 and had completed four out of five of my courses.
I had the financial aid office review my account. The girl on the phone may as well have said, "Whoopsie." My financial aid is intact. I just got the confirmation letter in the mail.
However, I had already contacted my advisor because I needed her help in writing up a plan for my future in order to appeal the original decision. I had to reschedule that meeting.
I also had to reschedule my midwife appointment. I was supposed to have my glucose test. Both the meeting with the advisor and the midwife appointment have been moved to this coming Friday. I'm so tired just thinking about Friday.
Speaking of tired - I've been napping. I love naps. I think I need a nap every day. I feel so rested after just a little nap.

So I helped Mom for a few day while Bryn held down the fort at home. Then Mom brought me back and spent a few days with us. Al got to spend the night at the ECHO with her Daisy troop. They sold enough cookies to cover the cost for all the girls. I'm so proud of them. The afternoon after we picked up Al, she had a birthday party to go to - at the local skatepark. She was the only girl there, aside from two older cousins. Al was brave and eventually had a lot of fun. She would do anything for her crush - and that includes spending 75 minutes with 12 boys. Her crush, in return, packed a goody bag specifically for her - she got girly stuff, including lip gloss. *wink-wink-nudge-nudge*?

I'm supposed to write about the baby in this blog, aren't I?
I slept in the memory foam bed at my mom's house. I actually woke up face down one morning. The baby barely moved all day.
Ed arrived on my doorstep with two bags and a bin full of clothes for the new baby. His wife had sorted all the clothes and sent him with nothing but stuff for newborn to six month old boys. I now have 25 newborn sized prefolds and six covers and tons of clothes. I'm not sure we need to buy any baby clothes at all. I'm so grateful I could cry. But I'm also frustrated because I have no idea where to put all this stuff.

My butt hurts. I'm going to stop typing now. This past week was really long. This week is Alex's last week of school. There is so much going on. I'll write about it later.