First Exam

There are three midwives at Tapestry Midwifery. Heather is the one with whom we started (that just sounds awkward, but I have an ancient English teacher screaming in my head), but she is pregnant and may not be back from her maternity leave before I deliver. Bryn and I decided to rotate through the midwives and get to know all of them as a matter of principle.

Today we met with Martha and her shadow. Alaura (sp?) is a midwife in-training and she sat in on my appointment and took my blood pressure. I was raised in a medical household, so I tend to be completely fine with trainees observing and helping - they have to learn somewhere. I'd rather have a doctor, nurse, or midwife who was allowed to listen, observe, and help than one who was constantly denied the opportunity while still learning. I treated her like a shadow and practically ignored her. I feel a bit guilty about that, but for those of you who have had "female" exams before, I think you may understand my detachment.

Bryn and I started by telling Martha how the pregnancy was progressing and how different this one is than Alex's. Instead of my face clearing up and feeling fantastic, I have completely broken out, I am queasy and exhausted. Martha smiled and gave me the old rote about no two pregnancies being alike. She also said that there are some OTC things I can do for my face and if it comes to it she can recommend a dermatologist consult. I think I'll stick it out. Martha mentioned rosacea and having read about it, I have to agree... I'm really not happy about this. She also mentioned that my blood work came back good, except my iron levels are where she would want them at 28 weeks - I need to step it up. Ugh...

We talked about my last pregnancy and her delivery and my labor and Martha reassured me that Tapestry is probably a much better fit for me than my old cranky OB had been. I don't want to get into Alex's birth story. But Martha had worked with the man who replaced my old OB and we agreed that he was very sweet and worth the hour trip for an annual Pap.

Down to the exam. Blood pressure was done by the shadow 110/74, which is perfectly normal but a bit high for me. But I'M GOING TO HEAR THE BABY! So I laid back, Martha gooped my belly (apologizing that she needed to use the goop, when the baby is bigger and easier to get at they use coconut oil), and ran the microphone over my belly. She had mentioned that it's still a little early and it may take a while to find it yet, but she pressed the mic down and slid it half and inch and "swishswishswishswishswish" loud and clear. I think Bryn came up out of his chair. The look on his face was amazing. He looked shocked and surprised and thrilled and so full of love. I thought he was going to scoop me up abdomen first and press his ear to my belly. We are going to bring Alex to the next appointment so she can hear too.

Obviously not me, but so you know what we were hearing:


And I am in my 12th week, so the heart rate is pretty accurate.

After listening to the baby, Bryn was asked to leave. This is the part of the exam that I dread and is no longer safe for children to read about. This is where I get asked about my past, my triggers, and whether or not I am safe in my current relationship. Ugh... I blamed my flashbacks and nightmares during Alex's pregnancy on the OB asking me those questions - I hadn't been thinking about any of it before he brought it up - it's all his fault! Well... not so much. Obviously. Most women who have been abused or assaulted have control issues and there is no control over what your body is doing during pregnancy or labor or delivery (well, a bit, but not nearly enough) and pregnancy is inherently sexual so all those vulnerabilities resurface and wreak havoc on a pregnant woman's mind. For some women a certain body position will freak her out for others it has situational triggers: showers, mustaches, Aspen cologne... For me there's one of each. I explained about Bryn shaving his face clean and kissing him and I had terrible nightmares, so he grew back his facial hair. Martha "awww"'d and phrased the next question gently, "So you feel safe in your current relationship?" instead of "Do you?" which I think was nice of her.

This next bit is more biological. My chest is clear, my heart sounds good, I got swabbed for chlamydia, the walls of my vagina are healthy and pink, and I have a "lovely" purple cervix. The shadow actually called my cervix "lovely" and I thanked her; it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about my cervix.

The swab for chlamydia will prevent the baby needing eyedrops. As I will be nursing immediately and eternally (if you've been there you understand), the Vitamin K shot will be unnecessary. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get around the Hep B vaccine. In talking to my mother, the RN, the Hep B is to protect the baby from the hospital. As the kid will be rooming in with me, not mopping up blood, swapping needles, or having unprotected sex, I think I may be able to get out of the hospital without the shot. I hope.