Birth Plan

I wrote up a birth plan.
Earth Mama Angel Baby, on top of having some really fantastic healthy products, offered up the form. It was weird when I received it, until I realized that it only showed the choices I had made and none of the things I had decided against.

I think that having what I want in writing, and in my midwife's hand, will empower me to have the birth I want instead of the one my doctor wants to give me. Alex's birth was ... a little on the traumatic side.

I thought Alex and I were going to be fine. I was not allowed to think this for the last day of labor. I had been given pitocin. My membranes had been ruptured. I was forced to wear the external fetal monitor that refused to stay still and confined me to the bed, itched, and constantly threw the nurses into a tizzy by picking up my heart and not Alex's. I got to squat up to a point, then I was manhandled onto my back with my feet in stirrups. One of the nurses grabbed my left knee and told Alex's dad (former varsity football player, varsity wrestler, physical laborer) to pull on my right, "Don't worry, you can't hurt her. Pull!" Needless to say, my right hip has never been the same. I was given an episiotomy against my express wishes. I did not see my daughter until an hour after her delivery, though she never left the room. The only thing about the entire experience (other than Alex) that made me smile was this weird endorphin rush - I had stripped down naked: my bra was hanging from the IV stand. I asked the pediatrician, "Dr. Hall, now that you've seen me naked, may I call you Elliot?" He smiled back and said, "Just for tonight," and handed me my perfect baby. He was a fantastic pediatrician. I really miss him.

I hope that this birth goes better. I have very high hopes.